A tiny speck of life is illuminated. For the split second it was allowed, it tried its best to make the most out of it. It wanted to shine for the fleeting moment it was allowed to live.
It shone pink. A bundle of pink. As delicate as it seemed, it was inviting and engaging. Yet it was approached with a cautious mind. I was, after all, stepping into unknown territory. Filling the space between myself and the cluster of this girly color, I feared the judgmental eyes of those around me. There were millions of them floating around. Tiny moments of existence. Just like me, they were cloaked in grey. Monotonous, with the occasional blue and red and yellow. Moody, angry and happy. And life goes on. Where did I fit in with all this?
This sea of pink was so alluring that momentarily, I put my fears behind me. At this moment, I stood in limbo between simple and complex. Ordinary and extraordinary. The chance for a normal teenage life hadn’t slipped by. Not yet at least. There was still an opportunity for me to turn back. For me to integrate with the others around me, reading about Hollywood stars and listening to overplayed radio songs. But was that what I really wanted?
I clicked a Youtube video and dipped a toe into the pink waters. Let’s just test it out first. Let’s just make sure that it won’t be too overwhelming. Their fresh faces and warm gazes reflected my own fascination. I felt like I was being pulled into something beyond my understandings. Pretty girls and talented idols? That wasn’t hard to spot. But there was something more. Something deeper. Something that shone with a light that would eventually illuminate a person’s heart if they ever decided to give these nine girls a chance to prove themselves. So why not watch one more music video? Why not listen to one more song? It wouldn’t hurt right?
The ember of a pink flame was carefully being kindled to life. Eventually it would be able to ignite a sense of intuition and passion inside my life. And almost immediately, I knew I was being drawn in. There was no turning back from here. At this point, I had already willingly thrown away the stereotypical teenage life I had been paving since elementary school. The only option left was forward. And I would walk ahead with pride.
Because our existence was but a breath when compared to the universe. We were nothing more than a flicker of life longing to live for even just another minute. Even if it were merely for just another heartbeat. So to hell the ones around you who jeer with outspoken hatred and arbitrary feelings. To hell the ones around who constantly nag you every day. Why do you like them so much? There’s nothing great about them. Who are they to judge what they can’t even begin to comprehend. Who are they, as the ignorant fools, to so surely state that the girls are talentless and fake? Who are they to understand?
So let them hate. Let them waste what little precious time they have and hate. Doesn’t it ever get tiring?
It was like something inside of me had been unhinged. I have never defended an idol group so fiercely before. They were no more than a girl group, no? Weren’t there already hundreds of them out there already? So why them? Why Soshi? I’ve asked myself this question many times. Believe me, I have. Sure, I have come up with answers like “they’re talented, lovable and caring” and so on. The typical textbook answers. But there’s more. There has got to be more. And my love for these girls only grows as these questions remain unanswered. As I venture deeper and deeper into the Soshi fandom.
Growing to love and support nine girls isn’t an easy task. Especially nine that I don’t (and probably won’t ever get to) know personally, but have become very fond of through television shows and computer screens. It’s costly and very time-consuming, but remember when I said that something inside me had been unhinged? Let’s call it a “lever”. This tiny lever could have remained untouched for my entire life, and by all means, I would have been able to live perfectly happily as well. But once provoked and toggled with, this lever brought my mind into a state of dependence.
I can’t quite begin to explain how I feel. Truthfully, I don’t really understand them myself. And maybe I was never meant to understand them because the moment I gain insight, it would no longer be fascinating. They would no longer be fascinating. For me, maybe the reason I have been able to nestle and burrow so comfortably inside this fandom is because the girls never fail to captivate me whenever and wherever I watch them. Simple, everyday things that they do are able to make me smile ridiculously at the computer screen. Things they say that shouldn’t even be funny have me laughing hysterically. From a more or less scientific approach, I am addicted. In a nutshell, I am in love.
I knew I’d shine pink eventually.
And I was proud to shine pink. Over the years, I realize that it is a color that defines who I am and what I wish to be. A Sone. From a broader prospective, I realize that this delicate yet strong, vibrant color is slowly illuminating the entire planet. It brings people together. And the closer Sones stand and unite, the brighter the light shall shine. But never forget the one and only moment it is able to blaze in all its radiance and splendor: When Sones and Soshi come together.
And right there and then, I knew I had found a place I belong amidst the billions of others that hurry about in a race against time. A race to fulfill every inner desire before we exhale and become nothing more than tracks that once roamed the Earth.
Welcome to my Sone life.
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