It’s that time of year again! Shops are full of Christmas goodies, streets are lined with festive lights and merry carols play on repeat in shopping centres. However, for a select group of people, the usual red and green festivities are put on hold for the first few days of December in place of a sea of pink. Bring out the Soshi merchandise! Light up them pink lightsabers! Put your SNSD albums on repeat! It’s the last big day of the year on every SONEs calander… It’s time to celebrate our Black Pearl Kwon Yul’s birthday! *throws pink confetti in the air*
Forget “The Way of the Ninja”… here at SnsdKorean, we now bring you “THE WAY OF THE KWON” (cause thats how us SONEs do)
WARNING: Major picture/video spam ahead… DO NOT attempt to read from mobile.
Kwon Yu-ri (권유리) was born December 5th 1989,
an adorable, innocent little baby… who somehow matured into the steaming hot lady that we now know as an SNSD member today.
With rock solid abs,
an S-line figure that people would kill for
and sleek dance moves…
With nicknames like “Kwon Seobang” (Husband Kwon) and “ManYul” the following macro just about sums up just how strong Yuri’s ‘sexy persona’ is.
BUT! My fellow SONEs, do not be fooled by this pristine outward appearance. Sexy body waves and heartstring pulling winks? So is this “The way of the Kwon”? PSHH! NO! All this is but an ingenious ploy to hide the TRUE SECRETS of ”The way of the Kwon”.
“The Way of the Kwon” may also be known as “The Way of the Kkab/Dork”. [For the definition of "Kkab" please refer to the Soshictionary] As a graduate of the prestigious ‘Institute of Dork-ology’ and in celebration of her birthday, Master Kwon herself has given me permission to divulge the secrets of her teachings to the public. Of course mastery of such a skill set does not come without practice, with this in mind I now present to you…
One must ALWAYS leave a favourable first impression.
One must possess the ability to let loose their ‘inner Kkab’ at ANY point in time.
The element of surprise is essential, Kkab is best unleashed at what regular human beings would refer to as “random” points in time.
When one is frustrated, do not hold back, let it out with a WAA!!!
Pouting, whining or even crying may be used to further express feelings of frustration. However one must be wary of the possibility of retaliation from other the other party lest you prove too annoying.
One must possess mastery of Kkab dancing
Cause we wave our arms up in the air like we just don’t care~
One must never neglect the power of IMAGINATION
Always treat mushrooms with care
Of course by “care” I mean
bullying drawing on their faces…
imitating their mannerisms….
giving them the occasional scare…
while always remembering to vehemently DENY any accusations that come your way.
One must always be prepared.
One must possess the ability to fall asleep, ANYTIME & ANYWHERE.
If you experience trouble with this step, Master Jessica Jung may also be contacted for consultation.
One must master the art of camouflage
Shame is for the weak, a well executed derp face can be your best weapon.
Do not be afraid to show your inner gangster
In the event that verbal intimidation fails to work, physical violence may be used, albeit with caution.
Always eat your fruits and veggies
Maintain your general health and well-being through early morning YOGA routines.
Bear in mind that it is strongly advisable to shave belly hair if one chooses to exercise in the presence of other people.
Practice your Aegyo daily, you never know when it might come in useful.
Flip your hair like a shampoo commercial model, just because you can.
One must practice speaking other languages
You never know when someone might ask you what day of the week it is.
———— DISCLAIMER ————–
The author is not responsible for any cases of mental or physical harm that may arise as a result of this article. In cases of severe embarrassment… refer to Chapter 10.
Haz you been brainwashed in the way of the Kwon yet?
Jokes aside, from everyone here at SnsdKorean.com….
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YURI!
Video courtesy of fellow staffer… nukem384
Sources: as tagged, respective video uploaders.
Written by: MintChoc@snsdkorean.com